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Recently, I came across Dr. Hosseini’s article in the May issue where he used the phrase “identity crisis” and went on to discuss the term Persian and Iranian. His reference to “identity crisis” hit home. Some recent events dealing with that exact issue prompted me to sit behind my computer and put pen to paper.
I have been in the practice of law for 14 years and in the legal industry for 21 years. I employ associate attorneys and support staff. I am responsible for their well-being, financially, emotionally and physically. I need to make sure that workers’ compensation is provided, that health insurance for the employees is provided, that payroll is met, that federal, state and county requirements are complied with. I also have to make sure our clients are taken care of, are tended to and are represented effectively and honestly. In my industry, we cannot forget integrity. We cannot forget the duty to tell the truth. We cannot forget that client interests is placed higher than our own and in the midst of it all, I have to make sure that we show as much client loyalty as our clients show us. So, in effect, I have to make sure that I can and do lift several “hendevaneh” with one hand.
We have a staff with international background including Chinese, Mexicans, Pakistanis, Caucasians and Persians, of course. Our religions are also as diverse as our background; we have Christians, Buddhists, Muslims and Jews working under the same roof. Each of the people in the office has assimilated, in my opinion, wonderfully and masterfully into the American society and into our international firm.
So the staff and I decided it was time to expand. We wanted to hire a young lawyer. We wanted to hand the torch over to someone else from this point forward and give my old body room to rest. We put the idea into the universe and sat back waiting for it to happen. Several interviews and applicants later, the door opened and in came a young Persian lawyer. We hired her. Alas, life is not so simple. After a passage of only a few months, this young lawyer jumped ship, in the middle of a perfect storm.
We searched our souls to find the answer to the question: Why? What happened? What went wrong? Was there something we did not catch? Surely, not all of us could have been wrong when we, as a team, decided to hire this young applicant.
The answer to the question was stark, in our face, right there staring at us: identity crisis- a severe case of identity crisis. This young lawyer could not find her place in this society. She was standing in the middle of the bridge deciding whether to remain or to go to her beloved home; and here I thought identity crisis ended with the generation who immigrated to the U.S. in the 1970s. Alas, I was proven wrong. This young lawyer who could no longer read and write Farsi, which is an ailment most of our young people are struggling with as they become predominantly English speaking, could not express herself in a language other than her mother tonge. Her feelings of isolation were prominent and affected her performance.
One question lingered: Many others have also suffered such a malady and have managed and continue and to overcome. Why was her identity crisis any more severe that yours, or mine or others?
Here are some thoughts:
Persians do not take “dastoor” from Persians. Really. Persians are all leaders. Persians want to be in front; we will knock each other out just to be in front even when “our sineh is not pahn” enough to withstand the storm. What we don’t seem to remember is to be an effective leader, you must be an effective follower first. Persians don’t follow. We are not taught how to. Persians think they know more than the last Persian. Persians tell the doctor what the diagnosis is. You can’t contribute to a person, Persian or not, who thinks he or she knows more than you. There is no room.
Here is another consideration: Persians think it prideful if they work for non-Persians. In fact, they think they have a higher social status if they work for anyone other than a Persian. Sad, wouldn’t you say?
Here is an old lesson re-learned: you can’t have, in half the time, what took others a lifetime to accumulate, including wealth, knowledge, humility and happiness when you are unwilling to work 14 hours a day six to seven days a week. Prosperity comes to those who work hard and are willing to learn. Character is not something you are born with; it is built. Hard work will build your character. When you are down, the one who will come to your rescue is the one with whom you have the most in common.
The best lesson we learned: "Someday, in the years to come, you will be wrestling with the great temptation, or trembling under the great sorrow of your life. But the real struggle is here, now . . . Now it is being decided whether, in the day of your supreme sorrow or temptation, you shall miserably fail or gloriously conquer. Character cannot be made except by a steady, long continued process." -Phillips Brooks 1835-1893.
So, here we are.
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