Friend 2 Friend Opinion Column

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FROM FRIEND:
Am I being unreasonable or too needy when my boyfriend of four months spends too much time at work and I want to spend more time with him?  First, how do I bring this up with him and second, how do I get him to understand where I’m coming from?


TO FRIEND:
In my opinion, wanting to spend time with the one you love does not categorize you as being needy so long as your partner also has the desire to spend time with you.  As enjoyable as it is to share time with those we love it is good to be able to feel comfortable being on one’s own.
The more confident you are on your own, knowing who you are and what your interests and goals are the better you will do in your relationship.  
Relationships are unique the same as individuals are different from one another.  Where as a couple may feel they need to spend all their time together to be happy, another couple may find satisfaction in a long distance relationship.  Therefore it is important that each couple take the time to define their relationship in clear terms.  The more we communicate the better we understand each other and therefore the better we can get along together.
It is not good to leave things to guess work.  As important as it is for you to express your desire to spend more time with your partner it is also important to for you to understand his lifestyle, interests and habits.  You can simply let him know you miss him by leaving a message that lets him know you look forward to spending more time with him.  This way you are not pressuring him or making him feel bad because he has to work.  If you are serious about your relationship it is good for you to accept the person just as they are without feeling the urge to change them.  

Yours Truly!   
Maryam

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