Friend 2 Friend Opinion Column

E-MAIL THIS

PRINT THIS

MOST POPULAR

XML VERSION

FROM FRIEND:
As a woman who takes pride in her independence, how do I take steps to accept help from my partner? When I’m so used to doing everything on my own and solving all my own problems, how do I let my partner in to help me without jeopardizing or sacrificing my independence?”


TO FRIEND:
It is no easy task lowering one’s defensive walls and exposing one’s vulnerabilities.  Most people walk around in their personal bubbles keeping the world at an arm’s length.  Being independent is necessary for all human beings to survive.  We fight for independence from a very young age, fighting to stand on our own.   In a growing and promising relationship independence is as valuable quality as any other as long as both individuals discuss together what they are comfortable with.  Career oriented people with fulfilling single lives eventually do fall in love.  It is the way of life, not because we’re afraid of being alone, though some are however because it is part of our nature to desire the companionship and friendship of a life long partner with whom we can have a family and an enjoyable life.  Now, one can be independent and in a relationship so long as you are not isolating your partner.  Being independent means you run your life; you work, you pay your bills, and you look after yourself, financially, physically and emotionally.  Once you are in a relationship that slightly changes because now you can share the load with some one you love.   Living in today’s society no one is truly independent.  We all rely on one another for different reasons to allow us to live.  For example, we earn money to shop at the store buying food that farmers have produced.  Therefore we rely on other members of society for survival.  So it is no surprise that changes will occur in a growing relationship where boundaries for independence will be altered for the happiness of both individuals.  I personally look at a relationship from the stand point that your partner is your best friend.  For a relationship to be truly meaningful and rewarding, the couple need to share dreams, hopes, fears, day to day successes and even failures, from serious stuff to meaningless things.  In such a relationship the two will depend on each other as friends and ultimate lifetime partners.  So discuss with your partner your fear of losing your independence but remember we all rely on one another to get through life and who better to trust and rely on than the person you love.

Yours Truly,
Maryam

Please forward your questions to maryam.kebick@sympatico.ca for an honest friend 2 friend opinion to be published at the discretion of the editors of Payam Ashena.

E-MAIL THIS

PRINT THIS

MOST POPULAR

XML VERSION