|
Last year, when my wife and I discovered that we were expecting, I was very anxious to find out what kind of a father I would be. I always knew that I wanted to have a child and to become a father. I thought I had an understanding of how to be a good father, but that understanding was basically theoretical and not born out of practice. I watched and learned from my brother as he interacted with his two daughters. I observed other fathers as they raised their children. Above all, I thought about how my father has always treated me, my brother, and his grandchildren.
My father is a role model for me. As a father he has always been caring, selfless, passionate, warm, and patient. He has always been an intelligent, respectful, hardworking, compassionate, brave, sensitive, and understanding gentleman toward his wife and children. Of course, like many, he has had his share of mistakes and setbacks. But no matter how tired or stressed he was, he always made time to play with my brother and me. As a child in Iran, I always remember his smiling face when he came home from work. He would take us to the park and read to us often.
I especially loved it when he read me comic books. They were in English, so he would translate them in Persian as he read them. As we grew older, he would help us with our homework and take us to Karate classes. He would talk to us about different subjects and issues. I remember when he talked to us about the story of Babak-e-Khoramdin and the Chinese revolution. He would talk about space exploration and Darwin’s theory of Evolution. As a family we would go to plays, museums and exhibitions. I remember one such trip when we went to see the rock that was brought back from the moon by the American astronauts. One of my all time favorite things to do with my father was to go to the movies. I especially enjoyed the historical ones like Spartacus. Afterwards, we would spend time talking about the movie.
When we did something that was wrong he would talk to us about our behavior. He and my mother never raised a hand on us. I believe this method of discipline came from his deep belief in equality for all. Perhaps that is why we always had discussions about peace, humanity, human values, and justice in the world. He worked hard to make sure that we had a safe, secure, happy, and balanced life. He made sure we had an appreciation for different cultures. That is why we traveled both in Iran and abroad. On the day that I moved to the US, at the age of 13, he wrote me a letter, which I still have. At the end of letter he wrote:
“My son, I have always loved you and I will always love you. Throughout your life you can count on this love, even when you are a man and have a life of your own. Never forget that good and honorable people are more successful in life. Never exchange goodness and honor for any amount of wealth.”
On Thursday, November 29th, 2007, at 4:12 in the afternoon I became a father. My wife, Roya, brought to this world our beautiful son, whom we named Aydean, which means light or illumination in the Azari language. On that day my life changed forever and for the better. My understanding and appreciation of fatherhood changed from theory to practice. Everyday that passes by I experience the awesome responsibility of raising a good person and the sweetness and pleasure that it brings to my life. Everything that my six-month-old son does is fascinating to me. His smiles and giggles brighten my days and his achievements, such as turning on his side or stomach, makes me proud. Now I fully understand why my father used to say that children are the greatest pleasure in one’s life. In my waking hours I often think about the things that I want my son to experience and have.
Here are some of my wishes for my son:
Aydean, I wish you a better world than what we have now: a world with less war, violence, poverty and inequality. I hope you will travel a lot and learn from other cultures and people. I hope you will find a woman that can be your friend and partner in life, like your mother is to me. I hope you will have children and grandchildren. I hope you will contribute to the world to make it a better place for all. I wish you a long life where you will witness and participate in important events, such as humans landing on Mars.
Here is my pledge to you, my son: I will try to the best of my abilities
1. To provide a safe, secure and happy home for you.
2. To provide the best environment for your physical and mental development.
3. To spend time with you, read, play, talk, and sing with you.
4. To go to plays, movies, museums, parks, and sports activities with you.
5. To support your every goal and endeavor.
6. To never raise my hand against you.
7. To be a good father to you as my father was to me.
8. To raise you to be a good man.
I am reminded of what Malcolm-X used to say: that any man can have a child, but it takes a real, responsible, and a compassionate man to be a father. So on this Father’s Day, I say to my father: thank you for being that man. I love you very much, Baba Joon, and I hope I will be as good a father as you.
|
